How many of you have seen this picture? Do you think it really represents how men and women view their bodies? Maybe, maybe not, but many women feel that their bodies are never good enough.........
One thing I have noticed over my many years and I’ll never understand it, many women feel compelled to focus on their perceived physical imperfections. Yes I’ve heard some of these conversations, so I know it happens! Have you ever found yourself in a room with all your friends discussing your workout or a diet and it turns into how nothing seems to work for you or you're having a hard time losing that last 5lbs. Women may even point out (to all the other women) everything that is “wrong” with their body. It may even turn into a competition, (reminds me of the scene in Jaws, comparing scars). Instead of Shark bites :) they say I'm too fat, I can top that, I’m too bony, too busty, too flat, my butt is too big, too small, too much cellulite. I don’t like my triceps, I hate my saddle bags, it never ends, what’s up with that?...............
Here’s the thing. If you’re speaking this way to other women, guess what? And to me it’s the real tragedy. You are speaking this way to YOURSELF – all the time. I see it as someone looking at themselves from an outside viewpoint and making judgments about themselves. When we do this and make these judgments, we compare ourselves to what we "think" to be better and therefore it becomes a no-win situation.
I’m obviously not a psychologist, so I don’t have the answers, wish it was that easy. I think if you asked a model or actress, they too would admit having some flaws or would like to change something about themselves. Remember, no one is perfect……..be the best YOU can be!
If anything, a few tips for breaking the negative thinking:
- Enough with the negative comments about yourself. It's not the way to get attention. Negative comments, even when we know they aren't true, usually come from a lack of self-esteem. Put negative thoughts of yourself out there and they'll come back to you. Think Positive!
- Don’t take negative comments from anyone. This could be family or friends, if you have people in your life who are critical about how you look, tell them that their comments are hurtful and that they need to stop.
- Start a fitness program. Walk, bike, lift weights or do a class. Exercise makes you feel good about your body. Don't just sit back, try new things, experience fun feel-good activities often.
- You can’t define yourself by your body size or shape. Find better adjectives about yourself, who you really are, your talents, your intelligence and your positive qualities, there will be many. Love the whole you!
- Take pleasure with everything around you. Be grateful for all you have and all that you are able to experience. Life is too short to be bothered by the external things that will fade away with time. Enjoy what life has to offer and focus on living each and every moment from the inside out.
By taking steps to improve your body image, you'll increase your chances of physical and emotional health and fulfillment.
So, let me start by saying I love that all this is finally being brought out in the open - ”all this” being how celebrity pictures in tabloids, magazines, etc., are not the real thing. It’s all smoke and mirrors people, and the above pictures are finally putting things in perspective. Take a look at our girl Britney – Yes ladies, even though the girl is probably half my age, has more money than she knows what to do with and is a dancing machine – she still has a little cellulite on the back of her thighs – as most of us “real” woman do. Rihanna is beautiful, thick and curvy, yet look what ELLE has done to her. She has gone from a size 10 -12 (which is the norm, by the way) to a size 2 – 4 through photo-shopping…. Ralph Lauren’s poor model – again, beautiful and curvy, has a head that is now bigger than her waist – who is she Barbie? …. And lastly KK, not my favorite, but has definitely moved up on my list by telling the world – yes, I have cellulite – so what! HA – Amazing!
Still, pick up any magazine, watch any prime time TV show, walk through any mall, and all you’ll see are images of impossibly thin models. People – models are thinner than 98% of American girls and women – 98%! The sad thing is that our young women don’t realize this and are constantly comparing themselves to these UNREALISTIC images. Studies of nearly 50,000 teenage girls say that most of them list their appearance as their biggest concern, and that 86% actually think they should be dieting – oh and a little reminder here folks – teenagers are considered to be ages 13 – 19 years old…. I actually had my niece, who was 11 at the time; tell me she thought she was fat!
Shows like “Extreme Makeovers”, one of the most popular shows on TV a few years back, took ordinary people and gave them the body and face of their dreams. In my opinion, this show and shows like it, jump started the dramatic increase in the cosmetic surgery business we see today. According to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, over 220,000 people UNDER 18 had a cosmetic procedure done in 2002. This number jumped in 2003 to 335,000. Approximately 50% of these procedures were chemical peels and dermabrasions – these types of procedures are mainly done to combat teen acne issues, and freshen or brighten the skin. On a smaller scale were nose jobs at 10%, procedures for protruding ears at 10%, breast augmentation at 5%, and the remaining 25% a combination of liposuction, lip collagen injections, fat transfers, botox injections, various facial implants and laser hair removal (I’m sure these numbers have tripled by now). Remember, these are children under 18 years of age, children who need parental consent. There are parents who are actually bringing their children in for these procedures. Why, because of the pressure to be stereotypically beautiful in today’s society. Parents don’t want their children to be made fun of or called names.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology in November of 2001, showed a group of 18-25 year old women when presented with information positioning media standards as unrealistic, were LESS likely to compare themselves to these media images. Also shown in this study, women were reported to have less weight concerns when exposed to information showing that most woman’s genetics, predispose them to being heavier than fashion models….
So – true story…. how many of us have gone to the movies and left feeling less than adequate after watching a seemingly perfect women on the screen… Well I know I have. I also remember ONE time, and I wish I could think of the name of the movie – that there was a love scene between an extremely handsome man and beautiful woman, with small breasts – that’s right – I said it – SMALL breasts… This is an area where I have felt a tad inadequate my entire adult life, and let me tell you, when I walked out of that movie theater I felt 10 feet tall and think I remember having a bit of a swagger to my step to boot…. and all because a MOVIE validated my having a small chest. See what a huge impact the media plays in our thinking, and I should know better… Not sure why they just can’t let people be who they are on the front pages of magazines – we would all feel a heck of a lot better about ourselves, that’s for sure.
This is where I believe parents can make the difference in their daughters, and even sons, perception of themselves. Parents can help their children understand that the way these men and women look in magazines is done through “smoke and mirrors”. That they spend hours in hair and makeup, that their images have been enhanced by lighting and their photographs are airbrushed to remove any imperfections. They can also help them to understand that through diet and exercise they can achieve their personal best body. The reason I say their personal best body, is because genetics play a large part in the kind of body they can realistically have. There are certain body parts that can not be changed through diet and exercise, they are just part of who you are. Those parts – you just need to love and embrace.
Oh and this was written by Denise – one of Val’s girls from her RCR forum – she wrote “….I think as women, we have all battled with the way we feel about our bodies, some more than others. What will help you overcome it is to believe that you are worth the investment. You are beautiful and the only standard set on a healthy body is yours….no one else’s.” Words to live by ladies!
So … here’s to hoping we can break this vicious cycle of media induced self loathing. That we can help our young women grow into strong, self-confident ones who will stand up for themselves under any circumstance. That we can empower and encourage them to pass this information onto their own daughters, and by doing so hopefully help break this cycle of distorted body imagery in the world today.
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